


dust in my eyes, water in my lungs

by icecoldwlw



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Memories, Minor Violence, POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 03:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18217568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecoldwlw/pseuds/icecoldwlw
Summary: Adora had loved her. Adora had left her.Catra was coping.





	dust in my eyes, water in my lungs

Catra lay on her and Ador— her bed.

She was lying fully on her back, for once. Staring up at the bottom of the top bunk.

Static played on in her mind, and every time a word would form she’d focus on the repetitive, scarring sound so it’d grow louder.

Catra didn’t want to remember.

But, memories have no care for want and need, and soon she was thinking about Adora again.

The disgusted look on her smooth features startled her as much as it had on the battlefield. It winded her, and made her arms tingle. Something heavy settled down low in her chest and stomach.

“I…” She started shakily. Her voice was scratchy, and crackling, like she hadn’t used it for years.

Her eyes stung, and she could taste blood from where her teeth were embedded into her lip. She tuned into the covers, hoping to find solace in hiding, but was met with a musty, bitter smell. 

Adora…

She pushed herself off of the bed violently, tears spilling free, a symbol of anger, betrayal… heartbreak.

She felt her claws unsheathe, as if it sensed a threat. In a way, she supposed, they did.

She looked down to them, her vision blurred by a fresh sheen of tears, and then back to the pillow.

It took less than a second for her to decide.

She laid into the pillow, tearing the cover to shreds first, then the cottony insides. She did not stop.

Even when the pillow was completely destroyed and all that was left was the wall, she kept attacking. Claws met metal, and she kept going. She turned to the mattress when the unyielding metal proved unsatisfying, and wrecked that, too.

She tore it apart, all the while imagining Adora. Adora’s muscles, flexing in a way that she’d thought was meant to impress her; Adora’s hands, rubbing her shoulders after Shadow Weaver had thoroughly destroyed any shred of self-confidence she had left; Adora’s voice, shouting reassurance, compliments and orders, whispering sweet nothings to her when they had free time alone; and finally, painfully, Adora’s face. Twisting into something kind, something loving, something caring.

“Liar!” Catra screeched, feeling a wave of harsh, biting cold settling into her mind. She released a sob, and the weight in her stomach flipped, turning over and over while she shook violently, her claws beginning to bleed.

She gave one last cry, punching the wall so hard the metal reinforcements bent, leaving a small crater above the bed. She curled into herself, fist and fingers throbbing just less than her wildly-beating heart.

“I hate you!” She rasped, voice fizzling into sobs as she fell onto the destroyed bed.

“Why would you do this to me?” She said quietly. 

“I love you.” She said, panting heavily.

The hours stretched on without Catra. Evening turned to night, which turned to dawn. Every time she tried to sleep, she’d see Adora there, limping away with a princess in her arms and disgust in her eyes.

“I hate you.” She said, finally closing her eyes.

She felt someone looming over her back, but didn’t move.

“Catra.” Shadow Weaver’s voice drawled. There was a hint of distaste there, but she didn’t care. Didn’t have the strength to care.

She felt something small hit her back. She didn’t flinch.

“You’ve been promoted to Force Captain in light of Adora’s absence.” Shadow Weaver said, cold as ever.

The silence stretched on between them, but Catra did not move, and neither did Shadow Weaver.

“Do not think it will last,” She sneered, finally. Catra heard her take a step away from the bed. “You are just a stand-in. A pawn. When Adora arrives back, I will have you stripped of your rank and thrown onto the street, ungrateful girl.”

She listened to Shadow Weaver’s heels clack away, finally leaving her to rest.

“I hate you.” She said once more.

And this time, it was not just Adora’s face she saw.


End file.
